Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Things I irrationally fear will attack me while running...

If you ask my co-workers or family, you would find I have a list of irrational fears.  Birds are pretty much at the top of this list, seeing as they are demon spawns from Hades.  Mold, ET, and the Lollipop Guild from Wizard of Oz (creepy creepy creepy) round out the list.

I tend to think about random crap when I run, so as I go I manage to come up with new neurotically irrational fear of things I think will probably someday attack me as I run (this is probably a work in progress)

1. Birds! Still #1. They have sharp beaks, and beady evil eyes, and they poop.  Enough said.
He's plotting your demise as we speak

2. The tiger from the zoo.  I run by our local zoo during my run and I have a feeling the tiger will someday come leaping over the fence after me.  How this tiger is going to get out of his cage I have no idea, but I never said these would make sense.

3. Worse than the tiger from the zoo... the free roaming peacocks at the zoo.  My bird fearing little mind just can't fathom why peacocks are allowed to roam free where there are children (and me) running amok.

4. Transformer pieces.  Mostly Decepticons, but either one could put the hurt on someone.  OK, actually just the transformers on the power lines.  One blew the other day and rained pieces down near me, so maybe not so irrational.  

5.  Golf balls from holes 10, 11, and 12 from the golf course I run by.  Which is across from the zoo.  So maybe the golf balls could hit the peacocks that are pecking my eyes out.  This one might not be so bad.

6. The Lollipop Guild...because you just never know.

1 comment:

  1. You crack me up! I'll be a follower, that's just what friends do, right? Actually, your personality is entertaining, so I'm excited to read more, plus I miss you and Christian. I hope you are both doing well. P.S. Peacocks are my theme for our wedding someday, you better get used to it!!